Jaxon Christopher - 13.2 pounds - 24" - 9 to 12 Month clothing - Size 2 diapers
It's been 10 weeks. 10 amazing weeks of cuddles, kisses, baby-talk, learning his different cries and cues, seeing him learn on an everyday basis, seeing my 9 pounder grow into a 13 pounder, figuring out breastfeeding, co sleeping, how to function on absolutely no sleep, how to change his clothes without worrying that I'm hurting him, adapting to his ever changing moods, learning to do everything one handed since he's always eating or wanting to be held, changing more poopy diapers than I ever thought possible, and soaking in every second of my handsome little dude.
I never thought my heart could feel this much love. Of course I love my family and my husband more than words can say but the love you have for your child is beyond anything. I can't tell you how many times I have looked at him since he's been born and have just cried because of how much I love him and how dang cute he is.
He is such a busy body! Ever since he was born, people have told me he's one of the most alert babies they've ever seen. He already has conversations, looks at himself and Matt and I in the mirror, has been able to hold his head up since a month old, has been smiling at us since a month old, already knows sounds, and he's constantly moving! The L&D nurses said this is because I didn't take any meds while pregnant or while giving birth.
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Speaking of birth, I finally got around to writing my labor and delivery story!
Friday, April 10th my mom and I walked for 2 miles around the park which started some Braxton Hicks. Nothing further happened so Matt and I went home, made dinner, watched tv and went to bed. At 1:30 AM, I was woken up by really bad cramps. I was worried I wouldn't know when I was going into labor because I had been having Braxton's since 7 months pregnant. When I woke up that night - I KNEW!
Matt had work later that day so I didn't want to wake him because I wanted to labor at home as much as possible. At 5 AM I woke him and told him labor had started so he got the rest of his stuff packed up, helped me get comfortable on my birthing ball, and rubbed oils on my back since I was having back labor. He had to go into work just in case I didn't have the baby that day or else he wouldn't be able to get the next day off so I called my mom and asked her to come over around 6:30 AM. I showered around 10 then ate some yogurt and bread (looking back on it I wish I had eaten SO much more! Once you get to the hospital you can't eat anything just in case you need a c-section) and just sat on my birthing ball until 1:15 PM.
The contractions at this point were only a couple minutes apart and my mom started saying "T, they are only 1 minute apart now. I think you should call the hospital." I didn't want to go to the hospital until I was sure I couldn't handle being at home anymore. I was going to stay even longer but after one of the bigger contractions, I literally felt him drop lower in my stomach so that's when I texted Matt and told him we're going to the hospital and to meet us there.
Once I got checked into triage, I was only 6 cm dilated. I thought that I would be closer but I thought for sure since I was only 1 cm away from the transition phase (7 cm) that it would go pretty quickly. I laugh at myself for thinking that now cause little did I know it would be a VERY long time after the triage room that this little dude would make his way into the world!
Once they moved me into my labor and delivery room, I had a nurse asking me questions about how I wanted my birth to go and I told her that I wanted an all natural birth, no saline lock, limited cervical checks, and wireless baby monitoring so that I could move around and get in the shower if need be. I said that for Jaxon, I wanted no Erythromycin (eye ointment for gonorrhea), 2 hours of uninterrupted skin-to-skin, no bottles or pacifiers, and for all tests to be done in the room and while I was holding him. The nurse looked at me like I was crazy when I said I wanted an all natural birth and no saline lock. She tried to tell me I needed one and asked again if I was sure and then dropped it once Matt said "She is sure."
The doctor (who I won't name because I did NOT like him in the least bit) told me that I should definitely get the saline lock because "when", not if, I needed the epidural, my veins would already be ready to go. I told him "no thanks" and he left the room. I hoped that his shift would be over before Jaxon was born because I did not want to have some doctor telling me what to do. My body knows what to do. This is what my body was made to do.
Matt, my mom, my mom in law, and doula stayed in the room with me the entire time. My dad and dad in law stayed in the waiting room and my brother and sister in law showed up for a little while but it took so long that they left lol! My doula was awesome. If you can get one, I highly recommend that you do! Also, get a birthing ball! I sat on mine almost the entire time and it was the only comfortable position. My mom and doula rubbed doTERRA Essential Oils on me, we had the Diffuser going, and had a few Oil Sprays that REALLY helped. I used to shower for about an hour. My doula, Tina, had the sprayer on my lower back while Matt let me squeeze his hand every single contraction for the entire 30 hour labor (Yeah, he was amazing.) I also used the mat on the floor and that is where my water finally broke a little. I remember saying "ew ew ew ew there's water everywhere" and Matt and the nurse cleaned it up. {Can I just say, this is the same guy who said he was going to stay by my head the entire labor and delivery because he didn't want to see anything. And here he is on the floor with me, holding my leg, cleaning up my water lol! I told him that would happen!}
After I got off the floor mat, I tried sitting on the toilet since it makes your body naturally start pushing and I remember asking Matt, "Is it 7:30 yet, I don't want that doctor to deliver him." It was already 8 PM when I asked him that so the new doctor came in and introduced herself. She was nice up until the time she started talking about putting in a saline lock "just in case I needed Pitocin" and I kept telling her no. That's when she wasn't as nice anymore lol. I don't think the Kaiser doctors were used to hearing no or someone who KNEW exactly what they wanted. The nurses were all SO nice! Not very helpful in the pushing department, but still very nice.
This entire time I had my glasses off because whenever a contraction would come along, I would put my face into my pillow. Since my glasses were off, I was pretty much blind the entire time. (This part of the story will make sense later on lol.) So even though I had "limited cervical checks" in my birth plan, the nurses kept wanting to check me since I had been ACTIVELY pushing for about 3 1/2 hours at this point and had been in labor since 1 AM the previous day with only yogurt and bread in my belly that was LONG gone by now. THAT was the most uncomfortable part of labor. No joke. Even when my contractions got up into the 100's, it wasn't as painful as when they checked to see how dilated I was.
At this point, Jaxon's head was finally at my pelvic bone but wouldn't go past it. I had 4 doctors tell me that my baby was only going to be 6-7 pounds maximum and I was getting SO frustrated that I couldn't push out this little baby! I even asked, "Why is this baby not coming out! Why does he keep getting pushed back in! He's only 6 pounds!" I think that's the only thing I said almost the whole time I was in labor. I was seriously in my own head, my own place, in the zone trying to push this baby out. No screaming, no yelling, no screaming for drugs like you see in the movies. You really just have to focus on each contraction bringing your baby closer to being born and focus on pushing.
The new doctor, Dr Oliver, who was absolutely amazing, came in and introduced himself and told me that he was here for me and we were going to get this baby out. My doula had suggested earlier that Matt should sit behind me and help me curl my body so that I could get a better push but the nurses had told her that we couldn't do it. She brought it up again to Dr. Oliver and he looked at the nurses and said "Why can't he? We have moms on this table who weight more than them put together. Go ahead and get behind her!" This seriously saved me from needing a c-section. Before this, my mom and mom in law were helping me sit up more but they could only do so much from the side of the bed. With Matt sitting behind me, he could push me so that my chin was touching my chest.
I had gone through every nurse and every doctor who had a shift. They all knew who I was and they were all rooting for me to get through this without drugs or a c-section. They were ALL in my room since I was the only one giving birth in the hospital. The two nurses who were actually assigned to me kept telling me to rest and relax and to not push because "I was exhausted". I remember thinking "you have NO idea how I am feeling. I am not exhausted, I can keep going, and I AM going to get this baby out! Could YOU relax if you had a head between your legs?!" haha! I kept pushing with every contraction trying to get this kid out of me regardless of 10 nurses telling me to relax. I swear I was in my own mind and listened to my body and what it was telling me to do.
The huge turning point in the night was when Dr. Oliver leaned over and said in a very calm voice, "Tamra, Jaxon's heartbeat has dropped twice in the last hour. He has been doing amazing and not many babies would have lasted being pushed out for 4 hours, but he is getting tired now. You are only getting 2 big pushes in per contraction and we need you to have 3. If you can't get him out in the next hour then we will either have to use the vacuum or talk about a c-section. With the vacuum, we can only use it for one contraction and 3 pushes. If you can't get him out in those 3 pushes, we HAVE to give you a c-section. I would strongly suggest we give you some Pitocin now to make your contractions stronger. Are you okay with that?" I couldn't say anything but I shook my head No. This is when my mom came up to me, crying, and said "You have been so strong but please get the Pitocin ok?" I finally said okay and the nurses got the IV in and said "We have to hook you up to water for an hour before we can give you the Pitocin."
Knowing I only had an hour to get this baby out or else I'd be pumped with drugs that I didn't want or need to have a c-section, which I was deathly afraid of, I whispered to Matt to push me up as high as he could and to help me get this baby out. This is when an angel nurse came in and told me EXACTLY how to push, put my legs in a way that no other nurse had that helped tremendously, and was the best cheerleader I had since I had been in labor. I don't know where the strength came from but I pushed as hard as I possibly could. Matt said "Baby, you only have 1 hour to get him out the way you've always wanted. Next contraction push as hard as you possibly can. I got you."
Next contraction, Jaxon's head FINALLY passed my pelvic bone and oh my gosh, I can't even explain that feeling of finally being done! The doctor had left the room right before this so all the nurses were rushing around trying to find him and calling his phone and the angel nurse started putting on sterile gloves saying "I'm not supposed to do this but if he doesn't come soon then I'll have to pull him out." The doctor finally came in and suited up and that's when Jaxon shot out and so did the rest of my water (which almost hit the doctor lol) and in the next few seconds, my baby boy was FINALLY placed on my chest and the 10 nurses in my room, my mom, mother in law, doula, and Matt all start bawling! I was just laying there smiling knowing that it was finally over haha!
Jaxon was born on April 12th, 2015 at 5:54 AM
Dr. Oliver told me that I had a really bad tear and started stitching me up. And since I didn't have an epidural, I had to get shots to numb down there. It took an entire hour. It was awful ): BUT my baby was finally here and already looking all around and wanting to eat. All the nurses were saying how alert he was already. After all the stitches were done, the nurses all left, family went home to finally get some sleep- Matt, Jaxon, and I all settled in to get some MUCH NEEDED sleep. The nurses came in 2 hours later to get his height, weight, and foot prints. The nurse weighed him and said, " 9 pounds, 1 ounce. Wow, that explains it." Matt and I were completely shocked. Our parents were shocked. All the nurses who were there for his birth that came back to visit us were shocked. But it explained so much! I did doubt my body a few times in the labor process since I was told he was so little. It made me feel very good knowing that it was just because he was HUGE.
We call that nurse an angel nurse because without her help and instructions, I would have had to get Pitocin and possibly a c-section. Since I wasn't wearing my glasses I never got a clear look at her face. After Jaxon was born, we all wanted to thank her for helping me so much but she wasn't to be found. We asked a few of the other nurses about her and none of them knew who we were talking about. We explained that she was an african american nurse, short hair, wearing a red vest, and not one person knew who we were talking about. It gives us all goosebumps when we talk about it lol. We all believe she was sent into that room to help me.
There were a few other nurses who went above and beyond and I really wish I could remember their names! The greatest compliment I received was a nurse who said, "We should have recorded your birth because THAT is how it's supposed to be done."
The healing process was pretty much a nightmare for the next 3 1/2 weeks and a few times I told Matt and my mom that Jaxon would be an only child lol but now that all that has passed, I do want one more in a few years.
Motherhood is so amazing and worth every single second of pain. He is our pride and joy and such a cuddle bug. A baby changes your life in every single way. I have been wanting to be a mom since I was little and it is everything I imagined it would be and so much more. It is even more amazing because of my support system. My husband is the absolute best. I could never thank him enough for all that he has done since I became pregnant. I could never thank my parents or in laws enough either. They have all gone above and beyond for us. Our friends all waited patiently to meet him and all love him. He has many aunties and uncles lol!
Jaxon, you are so loved. We can't wait to watch you grow and learn and discover new things. You have such a personality already. I know I am going to have my hands full when you are older and I can't wait.
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